


the night is dark, and unforgiving

by sablize



Category: Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-05
Updated: 2012-08-05
Packaged: 2017-11-11 12:12:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/478433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sablize/pseuds/sablize
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's fighting a losing battle so he heads for the whiskey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the night is dark, and unforgiving

**Author's Note:**

> For [Katrina](loveleighbert.tumblr.com) and her prompts of "Rose" and "loss."

He greets the alcohol like an old friend.

It dulls the pain some, but—dammit—the switch just won't work anymore, and his head is beating out a steady rhythm of _Rose, Rose, Rose_  that he cannot quiet because it isn't real.

Thinking of Elena and her pity, her overwhelming pity, makes him sick. He doesn't want pity. Not even Elena's. He doesn't deserve it; he is a horrible, terrible creature and he doesn't deserve it. It should have been him on that bed, dying, it should have been Rose who drove the stake through his heart. And yet it feels like the stake pierced his heart anyways; he clutches at it, but it's not real either.

After a while, Damon is drunk enough to stumble out of the house, and no one is there to stop him (Stefan is god-knows-where, probably basking in the glow of the prize that his brother can never have) but he's not quite sure he wants to be stopped, yet, because stopping will force him to face reality and reality is filled with pain and loss and Rose and the bitter taste of the hole she left behind. So he pushes his way out the door and dares not linger.

The world is spinning a bit more frighteningly than usual, but he doesn't really mind. He shoves his way through brambles and underbrush until he forgets where and even who he is and becomes firmly convinced that he has been a part of the woods forever. When he finally reaches the road, it is the sight of the moon (nearly full, waning) that grounds him, shattering his heart again as well as his resolve. His legs forget how to hold him and he collapses, there, on the pavement.

He makes no move to get up until the car screeches to a halt in front of him. He registers nothing about the girl that crouches to help him, and it's only when he's pouring his soul out to her that he notices small things: the tilt of her nose, the shape of her jaw, her dark eyes swimming in tears. Nothing he can compare to Rose but he does anyways, because this girl is listening and that's all he ever wanted and that's all Rose ever gave him.

Damon lets her run because he likes the chase; sinking her teeth into her neck, he revels in the animalistic glory before he realizes the enormity of what he's just done. He lets the body fall. Bonnie will make him pay for it later, he's sure.

The alcohol isn't doing much anymore. He leans against the car, eyes sliding shut. The side mirror is digging into his back but he doesn't care. Reality comes crashing down on him like a tidal wave as he realizes that getting drunk and killing Jessica wouldn't bring Rose back. Nothing ever would. And it was all his fault.

A shaky sigh escapes from his mouth. He turns back the way he came and starts the walk home.

**Author's Note:**

> Reposting my works from ff.net. Originally posted 6/30/11


End file.
